Hanging One

Let me preface this entry by saying that lately, I have been surfing a lot. Since my first semester of acupuncture school ended about 3 weeks ago, I have basically been surfing everyday.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I am not an excellent surfer. But over the past few months, as I have been working on perfecting my "cutbacks" and "noseriding" skills (I longboard a lot), I feel like I am not fighting the ocean as much as I used to. And let me tell you, it is a good feeling.

Any surfer will tell you that spending time in the water is a very relaxing experience. Even if a huge set comes in and you are "caught inside", the process of catching and riding waves leaves one with a feeling of joy that only a surfer can appreciate. Yet, this feeling isn't an easy thing to articulate. In the film "The Endless Summer 2", an African surfer named Gerald, who by the way couldn't swim, put it best when he said (and I quote), "Yes I like to surf, I like the ocean. When I am surf, if I have the problem, I don't think about the problem. I am waiting on many waves."As I have been waiting on the "many waves" that old Gerald spoke of, I have realized a few things about the energy of the ocean, the waves, and my life.

Some people claim that surfing is a religion. These same people will argue that surfing, in the most simple of ways, is a microcosm of life as a whole; everything is contained between the rhythm of the sea and the fiberglass of a surfboard.

I am a believer.

Let me explain: In my day to day existence, I notice that the more I try to control what happens, the less control and ultimately the less fun life becomes. In surfing, the fun starts when you let the wave do the work. I believe that life operates in a very similar way...if you let it.

The question then becomes: what the hell am I supposed to do? How do I find the balance? The answer: you wait for the waves.

The waves will always come. The key is that the surfer must always be in the right position, and always perceptive of where and when the wave will break. If one is not in the right spot, the wave will pass you by, or will push you over the falls.

There is always a minimal amount of energy that is required to catch a wave, (ie. paddling) but after that the wave provides the energy. The surfer then becomes a participant on a spontaneous and almost effortless journey across the water. Further, the wave provides a canvas for the surfer's own artistic and creative expression. It is one of the most rewarding and exhilarating experiences the world has to offer.

And let me repeat once again....the WAVES WILL ALWAYS COME. Sometimes there are lulls, long periods without waves, but if you wait with patience and presence, you will get your ride, and it will be beautiful.

The message I am trying to get across in my surfing symbolism is that you don't have to be in the water to catch your waves; they are everywhere. When you live life with awareness and intention, you will be in the right spot when opportunity rolls in.

Remember, you can't control the waves. When you stop fighting the urge and let them provide the ride....the ride will come. It will come indeed.

"Surfing is the source. It will change your life."

"Utah, Get me two.....two."
(My other favorite quote from POINT BREAK)

-Tyler (Purely stoked)

Needle Work

There comes a time in every young man's life when he has to decide what is right for HIM. The decision does not usually come without significant doubt and contemplation.

At the age of 24 many virile, young males begin to "settle down". They find their "mate" and head off to find the promise land of the American Dream.

For my pal Mumbert, this meant moving the wife to Florida to join the many retired Jewish and Italian couples from the North-East Seaboard. Hey, I have to admit 80 degree weather in February must be easy on the joints. Plus, the semi-tropical climate is said to increase the libido...or so I hear. What I am saying is that despite any external criticism, Erik made the RIGHT decision for HIMSELF.

On the other end of the spectrum are the potent, twenty-something drifters who decide that the domestic, career centered mind set of the American Promise land is...not quite for them...at least not yet.

My good friend Pandola is a good example of this. Australian Rugby, Burning Man, 4 MONTHS in Brazil and a stint in standup comedy doesn't sound too bad. And, as it would happen, the guy takes care of business with the ladies ALL AROUND THE WORLD (I don't mean to boast pal....but you do). This sort of a vagabond lifestyle suits Tony, and he consciously pursues adventure because it is the RIGHT choice for HIM. (To see a "Mock-u-mentry" on Tony's life click here ).


That brings us to MY situation. I am typing this from my desk in Santa Cruz, CA. Yes, after my 2 year Tahoe hiatus (which was nice) I have moved on (Moved on.org for the politically inclined). Because, I had to make the RIGHT decision for MYSELF.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to be doing my thing in Brazil or Argentina like Pandola...speaking Portuguese and Spanish with the latin ladies (I still might be going this summer). And to tell you the truth, in Mumbert's defense, I might like to be spending my time working hard to support a special "significant other", enjoying our life together...doing it our own way.

The thing that I realized in my time of "confusion", when I was trying to "figure things out", was that I am not Erik Mumbert, or Pandola...oh no no..I am Tyler Lapkin, and my life is taking me in a direction of my own. I can't compare my life to anyone else's because doing so takes me out of my own journey....my own path. Further, the whole idea of "confusion" which implies that one does not know what they "should be doing" is a term soaked in unconsciousness. As demonstrated by my good buddy Pandola.....not knowing is part of living a purely organic adventure. For Tyler Lapkin of Santa Cruz, CA, the "should be doing" part of the "confusion" defo really has no meaning anymore because it is a concept that is defined by an external source....not myself.

With that said, I am back in school studying TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine)....acupuncture, herbology, also some western medicine, but mostly some "VU DO" shit.....and I am stoked. It was the RIGHT choice for ME at this juncture in my life. Most likely, this choice, my choice, is not right for you....and that is just fine. Make your own choices and ride the wave with a smile.If you need any needle work .....call me

-Tyler
(Doctor)

Dreaming From the Waist

Dreams. Let's talk about em'.

What are they? What do they mean? Why are many of mine sick? What does that reveal about me? Are yours sick too? If not, where does that leave me?I'm going to be dead honest with you all for a second. Sometimes my dreams scare me. Take the other night for example. Let me start off by saying that I am not a big fan of actors, celebrities etc. But, the other night I had a dream of Angelina Jolie doing summersaults on a basketball court in some sort of competition with a mysterious Latin American woman. They both had clothing covering their chests, but as they rolled along the bright, freshly buffed wood floors of the gymnasium basketball court, it became abundantly clear that although they had skirts on.....there was nothing underneath. I don't know who actually "won" the competition, but I had my money on Angelina. Let's just say, the wood floor wasn't the only thing that was "buffed" (I know...I'm sick).

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

In order to get to the bottom of this question, I decided to take the advice of a good friend and began keeping a "journal" to document my "wake-walking" dream state. The whole writing process helps one to re-live the dream and to ponder its significance. If you decide to embark on this sort of endeavor, my advice to you is to be as objective as possible as you re-live the dream. Interpretations can come later...sometimes much later... on a couch at the request of your "shrink". This all depends on your dream's degree of "sickness". I only emphasize the word "sickness" because that is how I sometimes see my "sick" dreams. If you like the word, feel free to use it as your own. However, if you have a better word, copy this "article" into your own word processor, and every time I say "sick", paste in the word of your choice. For example...you might be so inclined to use the word "nutty".

After all, dreams are very personal things.

Some people (myself included) argue that the mysterious nature of dreams (even "sick" dreams) do indeed have a deeper meaning than filling us in about our own"nuttiness" (see how beautiful the process can be?). I have had quite a few instances where I have a dream about a person, sometimes someone I haven't seen for years, and then had a run-in or received a phone call from that person shortly after. These type of experiences become all the more real when I actually go back and read something that I had written in my "dream journal".

BUT WHY ANGELINA JOLIE?

I don't even like her movies. Tomb Raider...I mean come on? She does have very pleasant lips though. Which brings me to my next pont : Lips are the fruit of dreams..and by lips I mean all things subtle. The most subtle things that go unnoticed in our everyday "waking" experience are very prominent in dreams. Angelina's lips, a dog's fur, maybe a stranger's smile (wasn't that a nice touch?). Subtleness is key. Still, Freud would probably say that Angelina represented a deeply repressed sexual problem...maybe even comparing Angelina or the "mysterious" Latin American woman to my MOTHER.

Freud was a "sick" MOTHER f-er. Wasn't he? Pun intended.

Then again, maybe a dream is just a dream - a series of electrical impulses in the brain....just an electro-chemical reaction in a soulless material body made of water and dirt. When my dreams are "sick", I like to think of them this way. Understandably, this type of thinking allows me to maintain a sense of dignity and self-respect. But, in heavy situations when I realize I do indeed have a soul in this fleshy mess I call a body, I know that dreams are important. Plus they seem so real.....TOO real.Neurologists will tell you that in terms of brain activity, a dream during the REM phase of sleep demonstrates the same activity as in the waking state. THE SAME BRAIN ACTIVITY. If we look at this from a logical point of view, it works out that just as I am able to choose to read a book, or choose to eat a delicious triscut cracker in my waking state....I should be able to make choices in my dreaming state as well.

LUCID DREAMING

My goal is to take the information I have acquired from my research of dream experts, and combine it with my personalized info contained in the special "dream journal" in order to be able to willfully construct my own "lucid dreams".

Let's be serious once again. Angelina is waiting--------- Summersaults and all.

Hey, it's my dream. You're just living in it.

-Tyler

Nature Bats Last

September, 2005

When I returned from my Burning Man experience to find that the entire city of New Orleans had been devastated by Hurricane Katrina, although I was deeply saddened by the human loss and suffering, I was not surprised by the damage. This type of event, after all was inevitable. New Orleans is a city that sits some 8 feet below sea level, and if nature could have its way, would already be under water. The US Army Corps of Engineers spends millions of dollars annually to try to stop the natural shift of the Mississippi's flow from going down the Atchafalaya, one of its distributary branches. Hence, without the Army Corps of Engineers efforts, the natural flow of the Mississippi river would have already engulfed New Orleans, Baton Rouge and all of the industries in between them. This begs the questions: How long can man "control" nature? And is our attempt to control of nature justifiable?

The great ecologist Barry Commoner studying the relationship between the natural environment and the human environment came up with 4 principles of ecology:

1) Everything is connected to everything else (or, you can never do just one thing).

2) Everything must go somewhere.

3) Nature knows best.

4) There is no such thing as a free lunch.

In the most basic of language, Commoner's principles lay out the way that NATURE operates.In practice, these principles are avoided and NEGLECTED in the way that humans interact with nature. Unlike the business world, in Commoner's vision there are no externalities or side effects. An effect is an effect and will be felt somewhere.

The fact that all of our undertakings are contained and sustained by the natural environment goes totally unrecognized in our Urban-Industrial culture. Consequently, we have lost our intrinsic ties with the natural environment and the awe that the natural world once inspired. I am not just talking about epic mountain vistas, or beautiful lakes, but more importantly, the connection to our basic needs. In contrast, older cultures viewed even the gathering of vegetables as a vital, spiritual interaction with Mother Earth.

In his book, The Voice of the Earth, Theodore Rosak notes, "The environment that matters most is not a social construction, it is given by nature at large.Until civilized society began to manhandle it, that environment could not help but be "perfect,"since it is all there is: the evolutionary record left behind by time and matter, a magnificence beyond words, the stuff of high art and worship. All we can seek to achieve is a perfect response to that environment, one that allows us to grow, move, and act within it gracefully."

It is difficult to blame the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Katrina , or other environmental damage, on a particular person, miscalculation, or event. Moreover, it is wrong to try to make people feel guilty for their environmentally inept behavior. What we have to realize as a collective group of human beings is that we depend on the environment for all of our needs and that we must respect the will and power of the natural world. This means not building in a flood plain, on a fault line, or expanding a city that is below sea level. Better understanding and planning go a long way.

Ultimately, we became who we are as humans by living in accord with the natural environment, and for eons the natural environment was HOLY... in and of itself. The poet Robert Bly puts it well, "When we deny there is consciousness in nature, we also deny consciousness to the worlds we find going through nature; and we end up with only one world, the world of McDonald's, and that is exploitable.

We are part of nature, always have been, and always will be. This begs the question: Were we ever really in control?

Barry Commoner later added a fifth principle to his theory of ecology:

5) Nature bats last.

- Tyler

Do all HIPPIES stink?

July 26, 2005

hip·pie also hip·py n. pl. hip·pies

-A person who opposes and rejects many of the conventional standards and customs of society, especially one who advocates extreme liberalism in sociopolitical attitudes and lifestyles.

We have all heard one of the following remarks at some point in or lives:
"Hey, let's beat up that hippie", "Call up that hippy drug dealer you know", "You stink like a fucking hippie", "If you don't get a job you are going to end up like a dirty, homeless, long-haired, hippie", "Honey, I want you to talk dirty and then pee on me like the dog who peed on that hippie in the street".

Much too often in our culture, hippies, or those who oppose and reject conventional customs of society, are viewed in the same way as a homeless person or bum on the street....and rightly so. Many times a person who ends up stinky, drunk, and soiled in the gutter does indeed exhibit some "hippie" tendencies. The "look" and "feel" of someone who is generally labled as a "hippie" does not bode well with the so called "respectable" members of society. Let's be frank, most of the time people who want to appear as hippies ...trying in vain to connect themselves to the movements of the 60's...look and smell like shit.

Moreover, most of the time these people don't have anything to offer anyone. They are just like the frat-boy who dresses to impress out at the clubs ....meaning that they saw a bandwagon that was already set out before them, identified with it, and jumped on blindly. The only difference between this type of hippie and a frat boy is that while the hippy smells like shit, the frat boy smells like a French whore....which is really just the smell of shit masked with a spay- on chemical. Go figure.

Yet, there are those out there who are REAL hippies....people who realize that the rules and laws made to control civilized society are quite possibly and most likely artificial and transparent. Some of these "accepted" rules serve a purpose, while many of them don't....and therefore are unnecessary. These people see life in a different light than most of us, and are not afraid to live in a way that is contradictory to the norm.

The problem arises when the silent majority (those who accept without question that our society operates in the only and best way possible) are confronted by the ideas, or beliefs of these so called hippies.

The primary result is fear.

xen·o·pho·bi·a (zn-fb-, zn-) n.

- Fear and hatred of strangers or foreigners or of anything that is strange or foreign.

Hippies are hated and feared because they directly oppose what the majority of American culture see as truth. Hippies are seen as an attack on capitalism, democracy, Christianity, and any other symbol that goes well with red, white, and blue. Tie-dye and the dank green of marijuana ( Maria Giovanna in Italy) are not exactly part of the Puritan based work ethic that dominates our thinking.

Yet, in many cases REAL hippies...those who are seeking joy, happiness, freedom, enlightenment etc, rather than accumulation of wealth, are more content with themselves, others, and life in general. It's not that they are "better" or "beyond" material things....it is that they have geared their lives and thinking in a way that has changed their priorities.
Maybe this means not having a 40-hour work week, maybe it means not having a permanent residence, maybe it means walking around naked, maybe it is thanking the animals or plants that nourished him/her that day, or maybe it is all pure HIPPIE BULLSHIT.

On the other hand, maybe we were meant and destined to work 40 hours a week just to survive, maybe we were meant to sit in a car for 3 hours a day on a commute to a job that we don't necessarily like, maybe we were meant to make web pages and sit in front of the television for hours a day, MAYBE.......

The reason for this column is that I have been called a "hippie" quite a few times in the past 6 months. My friend Dugan even went so far to call this page a "hippie web site" because I decorated it with yin/yang symbols and criticized President Bush. I guess it doesn't take much these days go against the "acceptable" notions and beliefs of our society. Hey, if you see me as a hippie...fuck n a...maybe there are some things that I say and do that are different. That is just how I roll.

Some people (myself included) criticize me on the grounds that I am a spoiled, white kid and that I have no idea how things really work, and therefore look at life trough a tainted lens. I am not pretending that I don't come from a privileged position. In terms of how things "ARE" in the world, I know that I have had every opportunity open to me, and for this I say my thanks daily. It also makes me question why I am able to live a comfortable life, one that enables me to think about hippies, while millions of others suffer. It is for these reasons that I write this now.

Ultimately, I believe that there is no "one right" way to live, and to criticize somebody because their ideas are different perpetuates the insanity that has cost the lives millions of people in the 20th, and now 21st century.

The moral of the story is...let hippies (REAL hippies) or anyone else with different ideas do their thing. In all fairness, you and I probably have no idea why these people do the things they do. Don't be scared....be interested. Maybe we can actually learn something from each other. Or.... we can judge.

I am going to acupuncture "vu do" school. BAM! Judge that bitches.

- Tyler (Fucking Hippie)

Europe..USA...RFK

June 15, 2005

After 6 weeks of traveling, I have returned. Returned to what you may ask? I am asking as well.

Not to sound like an amateur or anything...but Europe is cool! I like it there. History, culture, languages, topless beaches..what more can a kid ask for? I'll tell you one thing....a decent currency conversion (7 dollars for a beer in Stockholm). I could have bought a brewery for that much in Thailand.

Apparently in Sweden and Spain the mullet is still very much alive. People from Reno, Nevada would fit in nicely there. Moreover, instead of being judged on their appearance, (like they would be in the in the US) they would be judged on their character...and hence, quickly deported.

So it goes.

In Latvia tight jeans seemed to be the clothing article of choice. The women, recently brought out from behind the "Iron Curtain" of communism, were COMMING IN HOT.
The French left me with somewhat of a bad taste, but I won't hold it against them. They did invent the bidet after all.

Being outside the U.S, one is able to learn a lot about the place we call home and its role in the world. Without much surprise, Europe showed me once again that while some aspects of our own culture are of value and possibly admirable, the most "democratic" country in the world can learn a few things from her European counterpart

I came across a speech by Robert F. Kennedy during my travels that made quite an impression on me. I believe that it is as relevant (or even more relevant) today as it was back in 1968. The speech was delivered less than 3 months before his death on March 18, 1968. I feel that it deserves to be heard once again....plus he basically copied what I wanted to say anyway :) Here we go:

"Too much and for too long we seem to have surrendered personal excellence and community values in the mere accumulation of material things. Our gross national product is now over $800 billion a year.

But that gross national product, if we judge the United States of America by that, counts air pollution, and cigarette advertising, and ambulances to clear our highways of carnage. It counts special locks for our doors, and jails for people who break them. It counts the destruction of redwoods and the loss of our natural wonder in chaotic sprawl. It counts napalm and it counts nuclear warheads, and armored cars for the police to fight the riots in our cities. It counts Whitman's rifle and Speck's knife, and the television programs which glorify violence in order to sell toys to our children.

Yet the gross national product does not allow for the health of our children, the quality of their education, or the joy of their play. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the strength of our marriages, the intelligence of our public debate or the integrity of our public officials. It measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our passion nor our devotion to our country.

It measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile. And it can tell us everything about America -- except why we are proud that we are Americans."

- Tyler

Choose or Lose 2005

March 19th, 2005

I'm tired of being lied to. I am tired of being treated like an ignorant child. Most of all, I am tired of being a part of a society that is content to have its choices made for it.
In the past few weeks, my hope for a positive future for this country began to fade from an already sputtering flame to an almost non-existent shadow reflecting off of the growing ego of our so called "leaders".

The nomination of John Bolton as the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, a man who in 1994 claimed that, "There's no such thing as the United Nations," blatantly shows the administration's one-sided outlook for an interdependent world.
Further, this week's nomination of Paul Wolfowitz (the prime strategist for the U.S. led war in Iraq) as the President of the World Bank raises serious questions about our nation's intentions in the developing world. I believe that a man who supports America's interests above all others (as demonstrated by his zeal for the war in Iraq) is a poor choice to head such an international body.

When asked about his choice to put Wolfowitz as the President of the World Bank, President Bush noted, "He is a man of good experience." As John Stewart pointed out on the Daily Show...."If that is the case than any member of the band Motley Crew would suffice as well". Nicely put John.

Motley Crew indeed.

My main problem with these nominations, aside from the fact that we are being lied to, is that as a society and culture we ask very few questions about what is really going on, voluntarily leaving our most important choices open to manipulation.

What I mean at a deeper level is this:
If we are not willing to make choices in our lives, then there are others who will make our choices for us. When we do not make a choice, then it is made from the "mass belief system" inherent in our society. We have to realize that this process occurs predominantly below the conscious level, meaning that the beliefs of those around us affect our choices, without the effects being immediately perceptible.

However, as demonstrated by our commander and chief, our decisions are being made for us right in front of our eyes......without much opposition. Why???

I believe that as Americans we have slowly but surely lost our ability to see the link between our personal choices and their ability to affect the world at large. In doing so, we have passively put our trust in others (especially those in power). As Story Powers proclaims in his book the Messiah Seed, "Know that although you have free will, it is up to you to use it. Become aware of the choices in your life. Elevate your self to the position where you know you are the one who has to make those choices, and then make those choices consciously and willfully. Choose from your self and not from the mass." - In a simple summary.....by taking responsibility for yourself and your choices, the world will open up to you.

This applies not only to politics (no matter what your take is), but also to every choice we make in life.... at least I believe so!

It is time for a wake up call mother fuckers! Wake up. Wake up!

- Tyler ( I am trying to wake my ass up as I write this!)